“Unexpected events can set you back or set you up. It’s all a matter of perspective,”

Mary Anne Radmacher.

As some of you know, I was abruptly and unexpectedly laid off from my job last October. It was a shock. I was sad, embarrassed, and I took it personally.

During this time, I felt lost. I was getting stir-crazy and wanted to do something or volunteer until I found my new career.

My friend, Keshia, is the executive director of the Beacon of Life in Des Moines. She too found herself in a challenging spot but for another reason. Her case manager had unexpectedly given her notice. She reached out and asked if I’d be interested in helping out temporarily and by that time, she hoped she would find a qualified case manager and I would have found my new career by then.

I didn’t realize I just signed up for one of the most impactful experiences of my life.

It was harder work than I ever anticipated. These women have been through things I could never imagine. The majority of these women have criminal records, many of them are struggling with mental illness, many of them were either addicted to drugs or alcohol prior to moving into the Beacon and were wrestling cravings and triggers every day. These women were at the lowest of the low point in their lives; the majority being recently paroled from the Iowa Women’s Correctional Facility in Mitchellville.

If you’ve ever needed to be reminded about how much you have to be thankful for or inspired by what some of these women have set out to do, this is the place.

I understand each one of us is ultimately responsible for our current situation due to choices we made. However, many of our decisions are based in the surroundings we live in and the role models who influenced us. Unfortunately many of these women made choices that led them down a path of drug /alcohol addiction and/or incarceration. What some people may not understand is this is the only life style most of these women have ever known. One of the women I was able to work with had been addicted to methamphetamine since she was 13 years old. She started using meth at such a young age because her parents were providing it to her so they could get high together. Some women were born into families where drug abuse and violence are the norm. The women who set goals and have the support of facilities such as the Beacon of Life have a chance to turn their lives around.

I’d like to share a story about one of those women, Nora*. Nora is a 46-year-old woman who has been incarcerated various times for an array of charges. She was born into a family full of drug dealers, drug abusers, violence, and was sexually abused as a child. Nora is a smart, caring, and intelligent individual who has struggled her whole life with setting boundaries and avoiding unhealthy relationships. When Nora was incarcerated, she wanted to earn her GED; she had dropped out of school and was practially living on her own at age 12 . After Nora successfully earned her GED, she didn’t stop there. She continued to take advantage of the education provided in prison and earned her AA degree from DMACC with a 3.8GPA. She knew education was the only way she was going to turn her life around.

When I had the chance to meet Nora, she had already started her journey into continuing her education beyond her AA; she had applied and was accepted into Grandview University! The emotion of excitement was soon replaced with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Nora completed her first two years of college in prison, being outside of prison and having to navigate everything on her own (financial aid applications, applying for scholarships, choosing a major, signing up for classes) was new to her. Fortunately for Nora, she was a resident at the Beacon of Life.

As Nora’s case manager, I accompanied her to Grandview University the first time to meet her advisors, learned about her financial aid options, helped her register for classes, and at that time, she had decided to major in social work because, “I want to help people who are struggling; just like I was.” Nora has since completed the Beacon of Life program and I’m happy to report she is nearing the end of her summer term and will finish both classes successfully (earning an A and B) while working a full time job in the evenings/overnight (at the shelter where she did an internship this summer).

Nora isn’t the only resident that touched my life; there were many others. Because I was so moved by the mission of the Beacon of Life, when a new case manager was hired and trained and I had started my career at MercyOne, I didn’t want to completely walk away.

I am reaching out to you as the newest member of the Beacon of Life Board of Directors because today through October 31st is our annual board appeal. The fun part (insert sarcasm; this is my least favorite part) is where I ask you for a donation to help fund the Beacon of Life and to help and to continue to make an impact and change the lives of women in crisis. The Beacon of Life receives no governmental assistance, operating based on awarded grants and by the generosity of those who donate. Anything helps; even if it’s the $5 you were going to spend on Starbucks today; this will help continue the mission.

I know this was an extremely long explanation but I wanted you to know the why’s behind why I support the Beacon of Life.

Thank you for your consideration,

Kristin Kuykendall