When I was 16 weeks pregnant with the twins, we learned that they were both girls and we gave them their names. Twin A was named Jordan Suzanne, and Twin B was named Ariana Catherine.

At the same time, however, we were also informed that Twin B, Ariana, had anencephaly, a birth defect where the skull and scalp don't fully close, leaving the brain open. 

We were told not to expect her to live long after birth, and we even struggled with the possible heartbreaking choice to terminate her to allow Jordan the best chance at life, but we ultimately decided not to.

We started biweekly visits to a specialist to check on the growth of both twins and to make sure that everything was going as okay as possible. 

As we prepared to lose Ariana, I joined a bunch of anencephaly support groups on Facebook. It was there that I learned about the volunteer professional photography services that Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep provides for parents experiencing any sort of infant loss.

So, I searched for a photographer in our area and found Rachael Santillan. She is photographer based in Fayetteville, NC, and she does absolutely beautiful work. You can find her on her website.

I emailed her about our situation, and she was not only willing to provide
Rachael (the one with the black sweater) and nurses doing all the remembrance stuff for me professional photography for our Ariana, but said that through the organization it would all be done for free. We wouldn't have to worry about a thing. She was warm and loving, and very easy to talk to. 

Fast forward the months, and on February 5th, 2021, the specialist gave me the heartbreaking news that Twin B's heart was no longer beating. Suddenly, I was faced with the horrifying reality that we would lose both girls, and my entire world shattered.

I told Rachael the news, and as usual she was warm and comforting, and told me to reach out if anything changed.

The morning of February 8th, I met with my OB as we finalized the plans for a scheduled C-section later that week. However, about an hour after leaving his office, I went into labor. 

Among the flurry of notifications I began sending out, I emailed Rachael. She dropped everything to meet us at the hospital, and she was there in about 20 minutes. 

By the time I was rolled out of the OR, she and the nurses were ready. I had received a bunch of remembrance items from various other places, such as dresses, handprint kits, and more. I had also crocheted a blanket for each girl. 

Rachael and the nurses worked gently, dressing the girls, taking photos, using the props I had provided such as the storybook I had read every night while I was pregnant. 

Rachael's gentle hands and warm smile brought love, beauty, and dignity at a moment that was stressful and messy.

Now, five years later, we have these beautiful photos to look back on. Instead of focusing on the ugliness of their deaths, we can instead see the beauty of their short-lived lives, and the immense love that we still have for them. We owe it all to NILMDTS and Rachael.

Your donations will help NILMDTS continue their mission of providing free professional remembrance photography in the wake of every parent's nightmare. Every parent of pregnancy and infant loss deserve to have beautiful photos to look back on, to keep the memory of their babies alive.

The funds help them to onboard more volunteers, train medical professionals on how to do remembrance photography, and educate photographers on how to perform digital touchups on older photos.