Growing up, I went through a lot of toxic and unhealthy freinships and relationships, and honestly, they messed me up more than I realized at the time. I was taken advantage of a lot, and that slowly led me into a really deep place of deppresion. I felt used, hurt, and completely broken inside. For the longest time, I couldn’t understand why God would let me go through the things I went through. I was so angry at God and men.

There were things that happened that I couldn’t fully process or even understand, and for a long time I didn’t want to understand them. I tried to push it all away and pretend it didn’t affect me, but by the time I got to high school, everything I had been holding in finally caught up with me especially during my juinor and senior year. That’s when it really started to feel heavy. I felt stuck, lost, and exhausted. I thought about giving up so many times because I couldn’t see any hope or purpose for my future. I felt completely unloveable, and I kept asking God the same question over and over again: Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

I remember one night during my senior year so clearly. I was just so tired of trying to fix myself, tired of pretending I was okay, tired of faking smiles and pushing through the pain. I didn’t want to try anymore. I just wanted to be done. I felt empty and ready to give up. But by the grace of God, I picked up the phone and called my mom and my sister. In that moment, they showed up for me in the most beautiful way. They didn’t judge me or try to “fix” everything. They just loved me exactly where I was at, in the middle of my mess.

Without my family, I truly don’t know where I would be today. I wouldn’t be the person I am now. God used them to remind me that I wasn’t alone and that my life still mattered, even when I couldn’t see it myself. Looking back now, I’m so incredibly grateful for what God has done in my life and for the people He placed in my life at just the right time.

Now, I get to take everything I went through and use my story to help other high school girls who feel hopeless, invisible, or forgotten, girls who feel like they don’t matter or that their pain doesn’t have a purpose. I get to remind them that there is hope, that they are loved, and that their life has meaning. If my story can help even one girl believe she has a future, then everything I went through was worth it. Peace Love Joy!