I’m participating in a fundraiser to raise money for Junior Achievement here in Mobile (along with several partners and employees of the team here at Wilkins Miller). In connection with this, I’m participating in a very simple way.

My friends, family, and colleagues are all very warm-hearted and patient people who realize that I am highly skilled as a punster, able to inspire groans and smirks with corny jokes with absolutely no remorse at all. I share these, getting enjoyment from the facial expressions of my victims (as they endure the ruthless punchlines) that look like these victims just swallowed a sour lemon. I would like to get the ball rolling with my friends by noting I am a very persistent and shameless individual, sure to strike my goal by being willing to use my humor to inspire support for this worthy cause. If generous souls are willing to put pin to checks or are willing to spare sufficient cash to facilitate achieving my fundraising goal of $1,000 by August 1, 2018, these individuals will be free from my inspirational material through the date of the end of the fundraiser – August 18, 2018. I am pledging to not tell any puns to anyone who supports me in reaching my goal from the date we reach the goal through the date of the completion of the fundraiser.

If you’re like my victims and would like me to split for a couple weeks and achieve this period of peace and quiet, or just feel generous and want to support Junior Achievement, please let me know via email or phone call. All funds have to be received by August 1st (or sooner if you hope for the period of peace to begin from these perilous punchlines). Thanks for your time and consideration in this matter.