After a healthy second pregnancy we lost our baby girl at 40w 4d. I was due December 5th, 2017. It was Tuesday and it so happened that I had my routine check-up appointment that day. My midwife sent me to the hospital for an additional screening. She also scheduled an induction for me for the next coming Monday, December 11th. After I arrived at L&D, an ultrasound was performed and the non stress test showed good fetal activity. I was sent back home after the doctor reassured me the baby was fine and could stay in couple more days. He suggested me to come back for my scheduled induction if not earlier. I knew i wouldn’t make until Monday but went back home and waited as instructed. 

Four days later, thinking that the labor had already begun and that we would soon share the happy news with the whole world, we headed to the hospital. I wasn’t in for a long time before the nurse put the monitor on my belly, but it was silent. The nurses tried and tried but then they brought in my husband and a doctor who pronounced the words that would change our lives forever: “ Sorry, there is no heartbeat.”  I was numb. There are no words to describe how it feels to be told your baby had died. I requested same day induction as I couldn't bear the physical and mental pain anymore. I didn't wanna believe the truth. I wanted so bad for them to be wrong. Even during the labor I kept thinking she would cry and everybody would be shocked. But she was gone. 

We welcomed our baby girl on December 9th, 2017 at 5:52 pm. We named her Teya. She was 7 lbs 4 oz, 20.5 inch long, just perfect and beautiful. We held her for a couple of hours and then we had to say Goodbye. I will never forget the pain walking out of the hospital with a keepsake box instead with my baby in my arms.

Life since then has been different. We were left with so many unanswered questions as the autopsy found no evidence of fetal anatomic anomaly. It simply says no cause of death and all the tests came back normal. Probably I will never know why she was taken away from us. I still have that days where I have trouble believing this has happened to us. Moreover, I had never really heard of anyone talk about stillbirth before, so I considered it to be a rare occurence. 

In fact, statistics shows that about 1% of all pregnancies worldwide are affected with a stillbirth. 

In the United States alone, about 24,000 babies are born stillborn each year which is the equivalent of 1 of every 160 pregnancies. 

Nearly 2/3 of all stillbirth deaths happen without a known cause and remain unexplained, even with all of the medical technology available. This is what makes them so heartbreaking. 

I was also surprised to learn that pregnancy loss is one of the the most understudied areas of  medicine, even though it affects many many families in our country.

Perhaps, stillbirth stigma is considered a key barrier in supporting bereaved parents. The result is, they report feeling isolated and removed from their community, silenced, shamed and blamed for the death of their baby.

Star Legacy Foundation is s the leading national nonprofit dedicated to increase awareness, support research, promote education, and encourage advocacy and family support regarding stillbirth, pregnancy loss, and neonatal death.

I was glad to found out that in 2018 a motivated group of parents, relatives, and friends of stillborn babies in Maryland established the Maryland Chapter of the Star Legacy Foundation. They are working towards implementing the foundation’s mission in the state, which has the 44th worst stillbirth rate in the nation.

Join us and Let's Not Be Still Maryland Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Walk as we walk to remember our baby and to raise critical funds for the efforts to better understand stillbirth and perinatal loss, to break the silence and shatter the stigma and to provide support for bereaved families.

Please, consider donating to this cause, so that fewer families endure loss like ours. 

Thank you for your support!