October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month with that being said I experienced both within 3 short months of each other this isn’t easy to tell but here is my story in a shorter version…. Almost a year ago in November I experienced a very complicated di/di twin pregnancy at around 22 weeks developing twin to twin transfusion syndrome , I went to see high risk doctors and traveled to the city almost everyday to try to save my babies. First chance I got at around 23 weeks I got the laser ablation to cut all the connections that they shared 1 week after  at around 24 weeks I found out it was unsuccessful on thanksgiving when I no longer felt movement and went into the ER to find out my baby A no longer had a heartbeat…. Continuing in my pregnancy I went into early labor at 28 weeks when my water broke Iwas admitted into the hospital where they wanted to keep me for 5 weeks to make sure the surviving baby b was as developed as he can be I ended up needed and emergency c-section at 30 weeks due to severe contractions. I gave birth on January 2 2024 not knowing he would developed an illness in the NICU needed 2 surgeries and then passing away 2 weeks later. My heart was shattered to pieces and will never be put back together. My twin boys will live in my heart forever until we meet again.