It's been a long time since I shared intimate details on the loss of our daughter Mia Rose Beaumier. Jim and I wanted to create a team to celebrate Mia's life and raise money to fund awareness pertaining to stillbirths. Thank you for being here and listening to our story.

Jim and I were elated to become parents to a baby girl. We hoped and dreamed about having a healthy baby. Who would our daughter look like and who would she become? We were anxiously awaiting all the milestones and firsts that we felt promised. 

At 39 weeks pregnant, I went to work on November 7, 2019. I began teaching and shared with my coworkers that I hadn't felt Mia moving about as I normally did. Thinking I may have just been caught up in the morning could I have not noticed her movements? What could be wrong? I was due in a week.

Jim and I called the doctors office and we were told to come straight to the ER. I was so close to my due date we knew that we would be admitted. Our hospital bags were packed and we were on our way. As Jim drove us to Winthrop, we stayed positive that our baby girl was okay. 

Once we arrived, I changed into a hospital gown and laid down for a sono. We were feeling anxious, hopeful but yet scared. We just wanted to hear everything was okay. The nurse came in and as we talked, I remember she kept the monitor screen towards her and quickly left the room. A team of doctors then walked in. Jim and I asked if everything was okay with Mia. Their silence spoke volumes. The doctor sat down at my bedside and delievered the horrific news, "I'm sorry. There's no heartbeat." Shattered. Confused. Shocked. Devastated. Every awful emotion you could imagine came rushing over us. Jim began crying immediately. I still feel guilty that I did not. I was in complete shock. I didn't believe them. It wasn't possible. How? Why? What did I do? The feelings of guilt that you feel as a mother are very powerful. I didn't understand what was happening. I felt like I was living in a nightmare.

November 8, 2019 at 11:20am Mia Rose Beaumier was born. She had blonde wavy hair and looked just like her Dad ? She weighed 6lbs 8oz and was 20.5 inches long! She was beautiful and peaceful. We held Mia close, dressed and sang to her. I watched Jim as he danced with her.

I remember thinking if I stare at her features long enough then I'll never forget them. I held my baby girl and asked her to forgive me. What had I done wrong? Nothing. But that wasn't how I felt. I quietly began to blame myself. We spent the entire day and night with her. At midnight I remember Jim telling me it was time. The most difficult moment in our lives we said goodbye to our baby girl. 

By 1:00 am we were on our way home. I had just had a baby and leaving hours later empty handed. Life didn't feel real. We didn't know who to turn or talk to. We were worried for each other. How could we move forward.

Thankfully we met an amazing grief counselor. She worked closely with Jim and I to navigate our loss. We will forever be grateful for the support we received from her, our family, friends, strangers  and  "The True Believers." Thank you for never giving up on us. For being there when we were silent. For standing by our side and checking in, dropping off food or sending warm blankets. Thank you for keeping Mia's spirit alive on her birthday or when you share stories that make you think of her. It means the world to us. 

I know Mia's spirit is with us. She lives within Olivia and Luke and sends us signs that her spirit is present. Butterflies remind our children of her "Look mom! Mia!" Or when I look at the clock at 11:08 almost everyday I know it's her way of saying, "Hi Mom!"

Its been a long journey to get here. We now have two healthy, thriving children who we love dearly and do not take for granted. We will forever keep Mia's memory present in our family and within our hearts. For all of the families who have endured the tragic loss of a stillbirth our hearts are with you and your angel babies. We hope to raise awareness and find a cure to prevent another loss.