Luke and I are participating in 2025 Cedar Rapids Angels in the Outfield, a fundraiser supporting No Foot Too Small! NFTS is an organization that brings awareness to pregnancy loss and infant mortality while encouraging the celebration of angels. I encourage you to visit their website and learn more.
On March 1st, 2024, I found out I was pregnant. I immediately started thinking ahead to the holidays and how we would have a newborn at Thanksgiving and Christmas - how exciting! A week and a half after finding out I was pregnant, I knew something was wrong. After begging doctors for weeks to see me, I finally got my HCG tested and went in for an ultrasound. Luke held my hand as we both looked at the blank screen. The doctor then told us I had an ectopic pregnancy - our baby was growing in my fallopian tube. Ectopic pregnancies are life-threatening, so we had to quickly decide how we were going to proceed. Despite everyone's best efforts, my tube ruptured on April 1st. I woke up from surgery crying - I cried due to pain, losing my fallopian tube, losing my baby and wanting Luke to be by my side.
During an extremely painful recovery, No Foot Too Small was introduced to me. I was added to a group on Facebook of other moms who, unfortunately, have gone through something similar. I so desperately needed this group. I was able to unapologetically state my thoughts and feelings to women who knew what I was going through. I began to attend an in-person NFTS mom’s group with other moms in my area. I felt so isolated and drowning in grief, and this group gave me the support I needed so badly. I could grieve and celebrate Frankie openly with NFTS.
On November 20th, 2024, I found out I was pregnant again. There was no excitement this time. I cried out of fear when I saw the positive pregnancy test. I told Luke with no emotion in my voice. I was terrified. My doctor began monitoring my HCG levels immediately. I knew in my gut that my nightmare was starting again. After another emotional rollercoaster and my doctor’s best efforts to save my only remaining tube, it also ruptured on December 28th. Doctors cannot find a reason behind my ectopics. NFTS was supporting me the entire way though - moms were asking about my latest results, if my injections worked, how I was doing mentally, and grieved with me for the loss of Charlie.
Within 8 months, we lost two pregnancies and the ability to conceive children naturally.
Luke and I have been processing the last year so differently, and I am glad that NFTS offers support to dads as well. He is able to talk to other men that just get it.
NFTS offers these resources at no cost to us and helps build berevement suites in hospitals for those going through a loss.
Every donation—big or small—helps and directly impacts this important cause.
Here's how you can help:
- Donate: Contribute whatever you can. No amount is too small!
- Spread the Word: Share my fundraising page with your friends, family, and social networks. Let’s spread awareness so we can raise more!
Our goal is to raise at least $250, but we would like to go above and beyond. We appreciate your support!