On Sunday, March 2, 2025 I will propel my body and remaining dignity into a large (some would say great) body of water in Chicago for Special Olympics Illinois presented by Special Children's Charities. It's one of the city's most popular winter fundraising events (despite being kind of dumb on a basic safety level). I am reluctantly taking on this death defying duty and jumping into Lake Michigan's shark filled waters to support thousands of individuals with intellectual disabilities. (It's a higher calling, if you will.) With your support, people with intellectual disabilities have the opportunity to discover new strengths, abilities, accomplishments, and swim in apex predator free waters forever.

There are three mighty vainglorious ways to support my plunging efforts:

1. Donate nine bucks to this sexy fundraising page.

2. Join our ridiculous friends and take the plunge with us at North Avenue Beach on March 2, 2025. Shark repellent required.

3. Help me spread the guilt and shame. Share my fundraising page with your friends, family, and friendliest enemies and subtlely manipulate them for cash they don't have. Proven to work on most people for many events of this sort. Try it. Let's prove the system wrong together. Thank you for reading all this. I appreciate you.

Please help me raise funds for this great cause by donating today!