In 2009, when I was in 5th grade, I was diagnosed with PANDAS, Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections. The disorder attacked the emotional center of my brain and kicked me into constant fight or flight mode. I was confined to my room for a year. The assignments in virtual school were incredibly difficult for me to complete; every task took three times as long as before PANDAS. I was incapable of focusing. Through cognitive behavioral therapy and medication, I eventually recovered and returned to a new school. Despite knowing no one, I made friends and performed well.

I continued to demonstrate PANDAS symptoms throughout high school, though not as debilitating as before. I had friends, an active social life, and less anxiety. I started to create music with music software. My goal was to become a computer scientist and game designer, to enter Georgia Tech as a computer science major. I needed a high GPA and activities that showed my strength as a student. I was nominated in Software Engineering for the Governor’s Honors Program in 2015. I pursued GHP to help me reach my goal of going to Georgia Tech. That year, I was put on the alternate list--close, but not quite.

The next year I was nominated again. Prior to the state level, I had to submit a video of a Software Engineering project. My dad convinced me that the previous year’s project was not sufficient, so I developed a new video game for the project video. I reworked and polished the game to a finished product. After weeks of waiting to see if my project was accepted, I learned I would go to the state level. few weeks later I was accepted. I should have been ecstatic; however, shortly before my acceptance into GHP, I was exposed to pneumonia, and the PANDAS symptoms returned.

I was desolate. I stayed home from school to recover. I missed work. My grades tanked. In precalculus; I had a C which only added to my anxiety. I felt hopeless. Despite how I felt, I knew I had to keep my grades up to keep my college dream alive. I eventually regained my A/B average, taking that stubborn C from precalculus and turning it into a B. I fixed my school problems, but the thought of going to GHP with PANDAS was terrifying. I was convinced not to go. I had an existential moment in which I confessed all my fears, doubts and frustrations. I admitted that I no longer wanted to pursue computer science as a career (stable job opportunities) and that I preferred making digital music (more risk). I decided it would be best to face my fears and go. GHP was amazing. I worked with highly intelligent engineers to create a mine-finding robot. I learned and performed dances to Michael Jackson songs. I did a few moves of my own at the weekly dances and earned a bit of a reputation. I made lots of new friends, including my roommate who was a strong emotional support for me.

Because of PANDAS, I have learned to push through the difficulties of life. Without pushing through, I would not be able to achieve my goals. From PANDAS, I learned what I really consider important and legitimately enjoy, like making digital music rather than programming. I am still not out of the woods physically. I caught Mono at some point since last February and my T-cells are low, so my immune system is under stress. I’m tired a lot, and I still get anxious, but I’m able to work a part-time job. I’m about to have sinus surgery that I hope will help my overall condition. Though I applied for IVIG treatment with Blue Cross Blue Shield, I was turned down. This is why we need SEPPA, because all kids who have PANS and PANDAS and are sick and struggling should have access to the proper treatments. I’m hopeful that I can get the treatment I need and be ready to hit the ground running when I enter Georgia Tech next summer. Thank you for all of your love and support!