On August 10, 2008 and 24 weeks into my pregnancy my twin babies were delivering and I found myself on the way to Fairview Riverside via ambulance. By the time I got there, one of babies was already in the birth canal and an emergency C-section needed to done.
My two little boys were born- Samuel James was stillborn due to a bruise on his sholder from being in the birth canal. He had blood pooling there and there wasn't enough blood running through his little system to keep his heart going. He weighed 1 lb 11 oz.
Maxwell James was born in critical condition and had many problems with his little premature body including bleeding in the brain, a collapsed lung, and other serious issues as well. He survived about 24 hours. He weighed 1lb 9oz.
As you can imagine, our hearts were broken and it was the most horrible and sad thing I have ever experienced in my life. I was so angry, wondering why God might give us these babies only to take them away so soon but I found strength I never knew I had and decided it wasn't for me to know. I still cry when I need to cry but I am healing. But there will always be pieces of me missing. I will always wonder what my little boys would look like, what their personalities would be like, and who they might grow up to be.