This past January, my beautiful daughter was born at 34 weeks and 6 days after I was diagnosed with sudden onset of severe preeclampsia. Since she was breached, and due to my medical needs at the time, she was born via emergency c-section. My daughter spent a total of 10 days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) across two different visits. She was born a tiny, yet mighty, 4 pounds and 9 oz. 

I had a healthy pregnancy with no significant risk factors for preeclampsia. When I went to my 34 week prenatal appointment, I did not have symptoms that seemed atypical for my third trimester. I received two mildly elevated blood pressure readings at the appointment, and they informed me that I would be sent to labor & delivery for additional monitoring. At that point in time, I was sure they were just being safe & I would be sent home that evening.

When I got to labor & delivery, they continued to monitor my blood pressure, my daughter's heart rate, and they ran labs. When the labs came back, I was informed that I had severe preeclampsia, my liver was showing signs of distress/damage, and that I would need to deliver my daughter that night. I was in complete shock, and I felt very scared & emotional. I was having a "normal day"--I was at work that morning, and by 7:30 PM that night, I was being told I was having my daughter five weeks early. I asked if I could go home and take medication and/or monitor my blood pressure. The doctors told me no, I could not go home, since I could have a seizure, stroke or die with my current health status. Since my daughter was not full term, I needed to get a steroid shot to help develop her lungs & I was put on a magnesium sulfate drip to prevent seizures. The hospital informed me that my daughter would have to go to the NICU since she was born prior to 35 weeks. 

I was monitored very closely at the hospital, especially the day after giving birth, to ensure I was stable. I was on magnesium sulfate for around 30 hours, which was a difficult experience since my vision was impacted and I felt rather groggy. I had to advocate to go see my daughter in the NICU, and even advocate to hold her, since they needed to have a nurse monitor me while I was on magnesium sulfate. However, I needed to see my sweet baby since I only saw her for a few minutes during surgery! It was beautiful to be able to hold her, skin to skin, after I was approved to go down to the NICU. 

I was discharged from the hospital without needing to go on blood pressure medication. I had to take six weeks of daily blood thinners (shout out to my husband for doing the daily shots for me) and monitor my blood pressure twice daily--all while recovering from a c-section, visiting my daughter in the NICU, and pumping around the clock to provide breast milk for my daughter. Leaving the hospital, without my baby, was one of the hardest experiences of my life. I felt like I was leaving my heart in the hospital. When you prepare to have a baby, you never imagine leaving the hospital without them in your arms.

My daughter had some feeding challenges in the beginning of her journey, and she had a feeding tube for a few days. Fortunately, she was able to breathe on her own. After being in the NICU for six days, she was discharged, however she had to be readmitted a few days later due to low body temperature. It was a very emotional time, and my husband and I were so scared. After another four days in the NICU, my daughter was officially discharged in early February. It was such a blessing to have her home.

My daughter is doing well, and she continues to work hard to gain weight! She is such a happy and sweet baby. I am doing well, and I continue to monitor my blood pressure monthly and follow-up with cardiology (since having preeclampsia significantly increases your risk of heart disease). 

I am grateful to my husband, my family & friends, my doula, and the hospital team for their care & support. My birth, and the early stages of my post-partum journey, was a 180 from what I expected or hoped for--I continue to process the grief around this experience while holding deep gratitude for our health & safety.

I walk for many reasons--to honor all the babies and moms who lost their lives to preeclampsia; to honor my daughter and I's experience and survival; to support more research on preeclampsia so we can understand this disease & find alternative treatment options; to raise awareness on preeclampsia with the hope that more families know about the signs/symptoms (and, awareness that even with no symptoms--like myself--you could still be at risk), and to remind all people who have survived preeclampsia that it is not their fault! I remember sitting in the hospital bed, hours after I delivered my daughter, thinking: "What just happened?" I cried while talking to a nurse, asking--"Did I do something wrong? Did I cause this?" The nurse cried with me, and she said she was also a survivor of preeclampsia--she assured me that it was not my fault. She, and other nurses & doctors, told me that the medical community still does not understand a lot about preeclampsia (and this is connected to how women's health is funded/prioritized). I still yearn for more answers--I know other survivors, and the families of those who did not survive preeclampsia, eclampsia and HELLP syndrome, do as well. I walk to come closer to these answers and healing. Thank you for your donations & support!