At the age of 20 me and my now husband Jake had been dating for six months when we found out we had an unexpected miracle on the way. We had a healthy baby boy Mason who is turning six in September. We were young and naive to believe getting pregnant was so easy and that pregnancy complications happened to “other” people but not us. A year and a half later we got pregnant again. After some spotting and a couple of blood draws the dr confirmed I was five weeks pregnant and the baby was gone. I think we still thought that was a fluke when we got pregnant again a couple months later with a daughter. I had another healthy pregnancy and gave birth to our now three year old daughter Nora Kay. About a year after that we got pregnant again with our daughter Annie Mae. At my twelve week appointment, just two weeks after finding out gender and hearing heartbeat, we were told she was gone. Due to being 12 weeks I would have to have a D&C. It was scheduled for Oct 17th, 2017. We chose to have further testing done and A week later we found out it was a partial molar pregnancy and because pre cancerous cells were found we would have to wait six months to try again. During those six months I had 15 blood draws monitoring my hcg to make sure it was decreasing and a chemo shot was not needed. After a very emotional six months of waiting and then another six months of trying we became pregnant again with our son Miles. We went every two weeks for scans and draws to rule out another molar pregnancy. At my eighteen week appointment just an hour after feeling him move we were told again there was no heartbeat. I remember my dr telling us I had to deliver him and it was going to be the worst day of my life. The next day after a long labor our son Miles was born silent and still. He weighed 5.7 ounces and was 7inches. He had all his fingers and toes and he was perfect. After saying goodbye we let him go even though by then he was already gone. This date was oct 12th 2018. Today I’m writing this 34 weeks pregnant with our daughter Elliot Grace. Although this pregnancy has been filled with joy, and excitement it also has been filled with fear and anxious thoughts. Explaining to two kids why their baby siblings keep going to heaven has been one of the hardest parts of this journey because those are answers we seek ourselves. They speak about their siblings as though they are and always will be a part of our family. That’s my goal for this walk. That we share our angels names and celebrate and mourn our losses together.