In June 2017 we found out we were expecting our third child. were super excited. We already had a girl and a boy. So we wanted our third to be a surprise, so we decided to wait to find out the gender until birth.
We had a what I thought was a healthy 9 month pregnancy. We Would go in hear a heart beat make sure baby was moving. Which was all the time. Every appointment was wonderful and good.
The morning of Febuary 2, 2018 (38 weeks 4 days) our baby was moving everything felt normal. Then around 11am I got a weird feeling, my belly got really hard, I tried to get my baby to move, just one little move I wanted to feel. But I couldn't...We ended up going straight to L&D triage they put us in a room and nurse came in she put monitors on me and tried to find a heart beat, but nothing.. I started crying and asked if everything was okay, she told me she was going to get a doctor, i knew then something was wrong. I was sitting there holding my boyfriend's hand crying.. he kept telling it was going to be ok.. finally the doctor came in with a ultrasound machine and that's when we heard "I'm so sorry, theres no heartbeat". That moment my heart dropped I screamed, I was praying to just bring my baby back. I wanted someone to help bring her back, I was thinking there's something they could do.. The "I'm so sorry" kept playing over and over in my head...
They put us in a room they called the "hugs room" as we sat in there many nurses came in to see us, hugged and just talked to us. We called some family they came as well. I wanted my other children i wanted to hug and kiss them. So once they were able to come see me. We made the decision to get induced and deliver our baby.. 8:00pm they started the medicine I got an epidural and tried to get rest. The shift change happened i got a new doctor and a new nurse(An amazing nurse) she talked to me she tried to get my mind off things. And made me laugh when I thought I couldn't. She was all around amazing. And I thank you so much!
Febuary 3, 2018 Around 3:00am it was time... I felt empty, I kept saying I couldn't do it. But my boyfriend was right beside helping me, just talking me threw it. Finally at 3:13am our baby GIRL was was born 7lb 4.4oz 21inches she was perfect absolutely perfect! The doctor had no explanation on why? They told us they can do test but there was a 50% chance we would never know... So we decided to not go with it.
They placed her on me, I held her still little body. I didn't want to let her go. We held her. Prayed with her. We had a little baptismal for her. They took pictures for us.
I was able to stay 2 days with her... two days that I will never forget... letting her go was so hard, driving home with an empty car seats, going inside our home to see blankets, clothes, diapers, was rough. A week later we had services for her. That day was a big blur for me. I had Buried my child. Something i would of never thought id do. The day i said my finally goodbyes.
But with the help of my boyfriend and our families it seems to get better. I thank them all for everything they have done for us.
It's been a year and a half sense we lost our Macey Mae, and everyday we miss her more than ever. We will always remember her?
I'd like to ask for donations and for you all to join this amazing event and help remember all the babies in heaven.