Our first son Bruce was stillborn on August 30, 2016. He didn’t take a single breath. We held him in our arms for one night at the hospital. That night, we leaned on each other’s backs, like two wounded soldiers lost in a war field, desperately trying to find a way home. It was the most heartbreaking moment in our life, followed by a long path of grieving and healing, also a fast track of learning and growth. Before our loss of Bruce, we had no idea what stillbirth meant – how could a baby die before his birth?! -- let alone the fact that 26,000 families a year in the US suffer from this kind of losses. We never knew what an excruciating pain feels like, let alone how to endure it for months and months and eventually accept it in complete surrender.
Needless to say, Bruce’s stillbirth has changed our life permanently, in innumerous ways that no one could have imagined. It has allowed us to grow closer as wife & husband and wiser as mother & father, inspired us to build a business with a grand mission to bring people true peace of mind and help memorialize their life legacies, and connected us with many more friends, supporting groups and members, advisors, guides, so many amazing hearts and souls. It has also opened our eyes to see how imperfectly perfect our life is at any given moment and re-instilled our faith in love and light.
“Let’s not take anything for granted, not even a sip of water or a breath of air.” Every day we remind each other to live the day to the fullest, to grow into a better version of ourselves, to appreciate and enjoy what we have, to trust the process and to allow the beauty and magic of life to unfold at its own pace.
A little over 4 months ago, our second son Bryan was born. He’s a beautiful baby, perfectly healthy and strong, truly a bundle of joy that we had never experienced before. His nick name is Big Sky in that he’s conceived in Big Sky, Montana, where we finally spread Bruce’s ashes in peace, also letting go any residual fear, attachment or anything that had held us back. Hiking in the mountains, we could feel our roots deep under the ground, a fertile ground filled with love, joy and abundance.
From Bruce to Bryan, it’s been quite a journey for us. During this journey, we had many deep reflections upon our life and Bruce’s legacy. How can we help each other to remember our learnings? How can we honor Bruce’s wishes and share his messages of love and wisdom? How can we further our life purpose of serving many others in this world? That has led us to be part of Star Legacy, an organization dedicated to stillbirth education, research and awareness. By sharing our story here, we hope to send a bit more light to those in need, whether you have gone through (or are going through ) the same kind of pains and losses as we have, or you are currently faced with some difficulty in life and could use a little more strength and courage to go on.
Now, with deep gratitude, we ask you to donate to Star Legacy and help us fundraise for this Walk. Whether or not you will be able to walk with us on 10/21, we know your hearts are there for us, as always. Thank you so much for your love, care and kindness.
With love & light,
Peng, David and Bryan