I debated whether to create this team because it is incredibly painful to continuously revisit this new reality and the grief we now live with every day.

At 35 weeks pregnant, we lost our beautiful son, Lucas. We were supposed to be preparing to bring our baby home, and instead, we had to plan how to say goodbye to him.

Unless you have experienced the loss of a child, I don’t think you can ever truly understand what it does to a person. People expect you to eventually return to who you were before, but that person no longer exists. I didn’t just lose my son. I lost who I was, who I thought I would become, and the future we had planned for our family. I am still trying to figure out how to live a life that looks nothing like the one we were supposed to have.

After giving birth to Lucas, I was faced with another heartbreaking reality. I was not entitled to the paid leave I would have received had my son survived. I had just given birth, lost my child, and was somehow expected to physically recover and grieve without that time. I cannot understand how laws like this still exist. It is inhumane, and families deserve better.

During this time, the Star Legacy Foundation provided me with a type of support I couldn’t find anywhere else. I found a group of women who understood what I was going through without needing me to explain it. They became my support system during a time when I felt completely lost. I wish none of us had a reason to know one another, but I am incredibly grateful that we do.

Star Legacy also advocates for changes to the laws surrounding stillbirth and supports families who are navigating this unimaginable loss. There is so much that needs to change in how families are treated after losing a baby, and organizations like this are doing important work to make that happen.

I created this team in honor of our son, Lucas Paul Urquhart. I know that nothing will ever change what happened to our family, but I hope that by sharing our story and raising money, we can help other families who will unfortunately find themselves in this same position.

Please consider donating to the Star Legacy Foundation so they can continue providing this support and advocating for families who need it.

We love and miss Lucas every single day. There will never be a version of our lives where he isn’t missing, but there will also never be a version where he isn’t loved.

Everything we do in his name is another way of being his parents.