This is a message that no parent should ever have to write. By doing so, I’m honoring what I believe would be Emma’s wishes, that she would want transparency on her life and now, her death. It was with great devastation to all of us that Emma was discovered to have ended her short life on Monday January 16, 2023. We ask for your support and love during this very difficult time especially with the very traumatic experience for our family members who were present as attempts were made to rescue her. I’m not sure we will ever understand her choice as we wanted more time with our beloved Emma Rita Wiltgen.

As parents we do our best to provide our children tools and resources for life and create a foundation of love, trust and communication so that they can feel secure and manage the stressors of life and find the joy and beauty of time on earth.

Emma, from early on told us she was not like other children and she often taught us what she required to thrive. When she was a baby, we would find strangers attracted to her energy and they would talk to us and her, often following her around. Emma loved to create fantasy worlds in her head, often creating two-way conversations out loud with laughter and voices. She craved comfort in clothing, food, and loved reading and writing. When she didn’t like the food she was not shy about telling you about it either! Emma had her own ideas of religion early on that were thought provoking and we knew were not traditional. She read all of Rick Riordon’s mythology series and had interest in mythology and history. Much to her mother’s dismay, Emma loved all things spooky. This included Halloween and haunted houses. She also had a fascination with Day of the Dead. Emma had a smile that was contagious and we have so many beautiful memories of her we will cherish always. She spoke of her many dreams for the future that she shared over the years.

Emma had the closest of bonds with her brother Max. They were best friends and confidants and enjoyed putting together Legos, playing Dungeon and Dragons, watching Anime and being there for one another. Emma was her Daddy’s little princess and he would often give her whatever she asked of him. Emma talked about traveling the world with me, her mother, and being best friends. With the expansion of our family to include Nicole and Milo, we saw Emma start expressing herself with surprises like bows in her hair and even a pedicure! She honored her role as a sister to her new brother, Milo. More recently, Emma quickly felt comfortable with Dan and welcomed him into our lives.

Emma struggled with her neurodivergent brain fitting into this world. For the last several years she was in counseling for depression and to understand her high functioning autism which became clear as she transitioned from a curious girl to a beautiful young woman. Emma went through a 9 week intensive behavior program last spring for her bug phobia, social anxiety, depression, and to learn coping mechanisms. Emma immersed herself in psychology including reading books and YouTube videos. Together with Emma’s counselor she had many tools for coping with life stressors including but not limited to: breath-work, naming emotions, writing, and utilizing dance as an outlet. She loved music and dancing.

As Emma’s parents, we were so proud of her. We expressed this to her regularly, how much we loved who she was and did our best to teach her to advocate for herself and her needs. Some of Emma’s last written words mentioned that she felt loved however, the pain in her human body was too much for her. She did not feel part of this world and that the pressures of society as she was approaching adulthood were too much for her. She felt overwhelmed and struggled with her pain. She also said she saw beautiful wonderful things in life but ultimately it wasn’t enough with her pain. Her conclusion, which breaks our families heart, was that she could not change herself or handle the “noise” of life.

 While we struggle to understand her decision, we know Emma would want her life and her death to be meaningful. She would want those of us left behind, who love her fiercely, to advocate for mental health and provide support for those with neurodivergent brains. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15-24 years, and females with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) are over 3x more likely to die from suicide that individuals without ASD.

Emma, we love you. We miss you. We will always hold you close in our hearts and memories.

Emma Wiltgen is survived by her Mom Amy Wiltgen (Dan Kelley) and Dad Tony Wiltgen (Nicole), her brothers Max Wiltgen and Milo Merkle ; her grandparents Ann Kerley, Lynn Brunsen (Rachael Van Valkenburg), Paul and Rosetta Wiltgen, and Theresa and Timothy Usher. She is further survived by aunts and uncles, Angela Graziano (Steve Slojkowski), Sarah Kerley (Daniel Soheil Zonozi), Matthew Usher, Michael Usher (Mary), and Thomas Usher (Alex), Anne Wiltgen (James), and Michelle Wiltgen (Rheba).

Emma is also survived by numerous cousins, 2nd aunts and uncles, and many other loved ones.

She was proceeded in death by great grandparents; John & Frances Brunsen, Walter & Velma Passmore, Rita & Len Wiltgen, Rita & Greg Scheurich.

A celebration of her life and visitation will take place at Pfotenhauer Funeral Home, 2379 E Mason Street, Green Bay WI on Saturday 1/21/22 from 11 AM - 2 PM.

Please consider donating to one of the following organizations in honor of Emma.

https://www.projectsemicolon.com/give/

https://www.erikaslighthouse.org/get-involved/ways-to-give/donate-now/

To send a flower arrangement or to plant trees in memory of Emma Rita Wiltgen, please click here to visit our Sympathy Store.