Our Sydney was a honeymoon surprise. An unexpected gift for us, barely a month into our marriage. I was terrified… but at our first ultrasound, when we saw that first image of Sydney, we grasped hands and grinned like children. We can do this… people have babies every day. She waved clearly to us in a four month ultrasound… like a little carnival kewpie doll. I’m quite sure there never was a cuter ultrasound picture.

We nested, giggled and shared our joy with friends and family. We organized our future. We went to parenting and birthing classes, painted a nursery, attended classes… we prepared for a life with our daughter. 

At 37 weeks, my blood pressure spiked and my OB sent me to the hospital for observation. After five hours, I was cleared to return home. I was relieved because I wanted Sydney to come when she was ready. I didn’t want to be induced unless absolutely necessary.

On August 14th, exactly 41 weeks into my pregnancy, I started to have contractions. We drove to the hospital… showtime! When we arrived we were led to triage and they brought out the heart monitor. Stoically, they told us Sydney no longer had a heartbeat. We had a very different delivery than what we dreamed about. The next three days blurred by in a series of indignities and callous hospital staff. We returned to our home, empty handed, a hole in our heart that we stuffed with our grief. Even though we have our beautiful Finley, there is still an empty seat at our table, for always.

Our families and friends surrounded us with love and helped us get back on our feet. Now, we ask your help to fund research to end stillbirth!

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