**Note: The profile picture you see is a painted work by yours truly, finally on display in all of it's glory for a deserving cause.    

    My fellow Americans, it is with great pride that I announce that I have decided to join Moustaches for kids. This beautiful movement aims to ensure that children everywhere can have moustaches, even if they can not afford them. Many children will spend this Thanksgiving with not even a whisker. Worse still, many will face Christmas without a lip-sweater to protect them from the biting frost. To this, I say "not cool fr"

    As a generous individual, you may be wondering how much one should give. You may be asking yourself "How much is too much? I am such a giving person and I am very cool and want to provide moustaches for kids! But how!?" Moustaches for kids, that's how. In times like these I refer to a wonderful and extremely accurate documentary about moustaches called "Tombstone". I will recount the tale below:

    In this documentary, four strong, good-looking and noble moustaches arrive in a small town, intent on building riches (for kids of course). Unfortunately, there is a gang of evil and greedy moustaches (Booo. Icky and gross!) that can't stand the idea of children having facial hair. If you don't believe me, go watch it. There is not a single child with a moustache throughout all of the historical footage within the film. Horrific. Anyways, long story short, there was some violence at the O.K. Corral (this is an acronym for "O.kay time to let these K.ids have moustaches, or else...Corral) and the good moustaches won (mostly...I wont spoil anything). Terrific. A tale as old as time.

    Alas, the damage was done and kids were no longer able to grow any moustaches. This is why we now have moustaches for kids! A program where us good moustaches can ensure that the children of today and tomorrow are equipped to face the challenges of today and tomorrow!  Winter is coming. Winter is cold. Please help me provide the moustaches we need to keep the children safe and provided for this Holiday season!