My Personal Fundraising Page

Thank you for visiting my 2021 Promise Walk for Preeclampsia fundraising page. I am grateful for your donations and for your help in spreading the word about preeclampsia. My goal is to help our community raise funds and awareness and save the lives of moms and babies! Please make a donation to support our efforts to fund education and research into this life-threatening disorder of pregnancy.

Our Jounery

I AM A SURVIVOR

I experience post-partum preeclampsia with my first son who is now five. My second pregnancy brought a whole new meaning of life to our family. During my second pregnancy I become sick right away into my pregnancy being extremely nauseous and vomiting along with high blood pressure. For months and several doctors later I ended up Brigham and women’s at the high risk maternal fetal medicine clinic. I went weeks explaining to my provider that my sickness and pain in my body was not right. I kept hearing that “ I could not have preeclampsia before twenty weeks”. Although that is true in most cases, there is a small percentage that could get it before twenty weeks. After twenty weeks I became worse. I became more sick, blood pressure was so close to the 200s; I had significant pain in my upper right abdomen, almost like a gallbladder attack..... but I don’t have a one anymore. After going to my local hospital, my liver functions were elevated; they assumed I had COVID ( I was negative)All this time I was keeping in touch with my provider in Boston which didn’t seem too concerned. That following weekend I was rushed to Boston because I could barely get my head off the the pillow. I was immediately brought into maternity triage and work up was done, the rest became a blur. Before I knew it multiple doctors where coming in and I was being admitted into the hospital were they had to treat my high blood, lower my liver enzymes and get my platelets up. Not only did I have preeclampsia but HELLP syndrome; which is the most severe form of preeclampsia. I was numb to the core. Doctor after doctor after doctor; medication after medication. Round the clock care to get my body into a stable enough condition to have our boy. With that of course came risks. I was only 23 weeks Declan was weighing less than a pound. He had a 13% of survival. My husband and mom came in as my support. With all worry I had I still felt hopeful. Wednesday November 11, 2020 at 6:33 PM I gave birth via c section to a 15 oz 11 inch baby boy. He was immediately baptized and rushed to the NICU. Because I was so sick and not medicated for 24 hours... the first time I met my baby was when his doctor came rushing into my room at 2 am to let me know that he’s not doing well and all care has been maxed out. We rushed up to NICU where I meet this tiny little human with wires hung from his fragile body, the only thing I could hear was the sound of my heart beating and bells of the vital machine going off. I've never been so scared in my life. I was able to “hold” his tiny little with the tip of my finger. It was a magical moment when he squeezed my finger which probably took all his might. I began to read him a book, which is the only book he ever got to listen too. “Alexander no good very bad day”. Within minutes all his vital became better and so did my heart. It was in agreement that I could spend my time in his room and the nurse would bring my medicine to me and I could soak up every minute with him. With regret every day. I went to bed back in room with the intention of getting some rest, eating, finally shower than spend the day with my boy. I slept so peaceful feeling that he was going to be OK. I slept for three hours got up showered , and just about to eat before the NICU doctor calls and says...” we have again maxed out all resources, please come up here”. My body became numb again. I could hear my heart beating. Turning that corner and seeing tons of medical providers standing in his room became unreal. I felt like I was an actress in a movie, and realized this might be it. It was then everything became so loud, I felt so crowded, and all I can see is the nurse directing my focus to her. “Natalia, Natalia look at me... your baby is very sick and I cannot give him any more medicine.” I was frozen just watching his give this tiny person CPR. I could feel my mom’s grip get tighter along my shoulder. Jason was FaceTiming we lost service and with spearing the details, I asked her to stop. The room became truly quiet, it was almost deafening. The room became empty and it was me, my mom, the nurse and baby Dec. I may not have got to hold him coming into this world but I held him until he left. It’s almost like I can still feel his body against mine. That he was able to hear my heart as he took off to heaven. From that moment on I knew my life would forever be different. My body still so numb or in shock that I just felt weightless. All I could think about was closing my eyes to go to sleep. A million things running through my mind. My biggest worry was telling Dominic. I knew his heart would be more broken than ours. That not only I didn’t come home with his baby brother but that would could never safely have another baby. I felt he would become so disappointed in me. I just wanted to close my eyes to rest my mind for a minute. It it turned into the longest day of my life. Again, doctor after doctor after nurse after social worker after phone call.... but emotionally I was numb, it was my brain that could shut off. I had to stay for a few more days in hospital to ensure my health was improving. I went home and crushed Dominic heart with the loss of his brother, buried my son, and ended up back and forth in the hospital countless times for months after due to complications. Tomorrow, 5/11/2020 will bring it to six months. Six months to our angel baby in heaven. Six months of emotional torture. Six months of feeling lost. I can’t tell you that I do realize my countless blessings, to my husband, my mother, my family, my best friends but most of all Dominic. He saved me. He shows me life and it’s worth everyday. That through all the cloudy days there is still sunshine through it all. I am forever grateful for that little boy, who puts my heart back together everyday. The hardest part for me as a mom, is not having anything to signify Declan. I wish could plaster is name all over the place. I was his little existence know. I want to him to be recognized for his short time here on earth. With that being said, I would love to have these shirts made in honor of our boy. To spread awareness to preeclampsia, HELLP syndrome, NICU and infant loss. Thank you. You have no idea what this meaning to us ❤️

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