Yo! I'm back at it again, but this time, I'm headed home to Marion, OH for an attempt at running around the entire Marion County line, approximately 105 miles!
In the lead up to this run, I'll be advocating for mental health and suicide prevention once again, but this time, for a different organization--Still I Run.
This is my first year as an ambassador for Team Still I Run, but Ashley has been involved with their organization for 6 years and it's been great to see their growth and impact in the mental health and endurance spaces since she began running with them.
On the night of my suicide attempt in high school, unbeknownst to me, a high schooler at a neighboring school in Marion died by suicide. I didn't know Kelsey well, but what I knew, I liked. She had a bright and bubbly personality, was the homecoming queen, valedictorian, and a star cross country athlete. I remember her smile and dimples, bright blue eyes, and calves of steel made by Marion's streets.
The impact of my suicide attempt was multiefaceted. I wanted to share of my struggles but with the exception of sharing with a few loved one's, I kept the grief and pain and heartache inside. No one talked about mental health back then, at least not in any of the circles I traversed, and I traversed most of them. But to add insult to injury, I didn't want my failed attempt to take attention away from the loss of Kelsey.
And so, I drank until blackout most nights -- at least until I began using narcotics heavily after high school. And even after removing narcotics and, many years later, alcohol, substance consumption became my emotional coping mechanism into my early-30's.
Between Kelsey's passing in 2003 and the "beginning of my new life" in 2018, I experienced the loss of 16 other individuals close to me. They were all from Marion. 3 of them were my grandparents. 2 others were the parents of 2 of my closest and longest friends. One was murdered in his 40's and the other 10 were all within a few years of my age. I knew all of them and was friends with each. Some I knew better than others, but I spent time in sports, extracurriculars, playing music, partying, working, or in school with all these individuals.
The impact on my mental health was immense, painful, and ever-growing. Anxiety. Depression. PTSD. Suicidality. Obsessive Compulsive behavior. I just didn't know any of it at the time. But in 2017, I began running consistently. I signed up for a half marathon, trained for it with very little knowledge, and made a decision on the plane ride to Florida for that first race -- I would become an ultra marathoner. And as they say, the rest is history... now in my 10th year of running, I've covered well over 10,000 miles on foot. I've worked in the endurance and running industry for 6+ years, and even led a team of mental health activists and endurance athletes in advocating, fundraising, and crossing finish lines all over the world for a couple years.
Movement is medicine. Endurance is trained suffering. And Marion is home.
Please - share this far and wide. Still I Run operates all throughout the country and even has some international reach too. But their focus remains the individual and their community -- to get them moving and give everyone the opportunity to live the effects that running has for mental health.
Every donation—big or small—helps me reach my fundraising goal and directly impacts their mission.
One step at a time. One dollar at a time. We can make a difference. Together.
Thank you for standing by me in this effort. Your support means the world to me!
-Patrick