My Story

Hi All!  Thanks for checking out my page!  I am very open now about what Tony and I went through to have a family of our own, it wasn't always easy to talk about but since connecting wtih Missing Grace, I've been able to see how many others out there are going through it too.   

Tony and I made the decision shortly after our wedding to have a baby, and like most couples who decide that, we got excited, started buying baby stuff, talking about names, and how many kids we wanted, etc...  Just a few months after we decided to do this we found ourselves pregnant and very excited.  We called all the family, posted it on facebook, bought maternity clothes, everything we could do.  I was working in the jail at the time and I will never forget the day I started bleeding at work.  I didn't think much about it, and I tried not to worry myself too much, I just went to the ER after work to get checked out.  I was about 10 weeks along at this point.  2 days later I was told I was losing our baby.  That this life that I had held within me was not going to meet me in this world.  That this child whose life I had started to picture, would not get to live it.  That I would be mother without a baby. 

About 8 months later we were excited to find out that we had another chance at this parenthood roller coaster, I remember thinking "ok, the first one ended badly, it won't happen again"  It did.  At that point we started fertility treatments, that only resulted in major hormone changes (Tony can attest to that part) and 2 more miscarriages.  I was poked, prodded, and all modesty lost.  

I had all but given up hope for a child of my own.  I was considering adoption resources and we even looked into IVF, but without $30,000 we were looking at a lot of saving or fundraising to make that happen.  

Then came Jacob.  My miracle.  My love!  My child.  Jacob by all medical resources shouldn't have made it here.  I was told that I would not carry a child full term, Jacob was born on his due date.  I was told that I would be on bedrest, I worked till the day I had Jacob.  I was told that I would struggle with pregnancy, I was healthy, happy, and hungry the whole time!  Jacob is a gift from God.

Jacob gave me the strength to deal with losses we had before him, and I found Missing Grace where I met other couples that could share our experience.  

There is another part of my story not mentioned above...  I do this event every year with my mom, who also is the mom of angels.  She lost 3 babies due to miscarriages, and 1 baby that lived for only a day and half.  Sheri, my sister, and Keri's twin, too beautiful for this world watches over us.  We will all be together again.

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