At my 30 week check up, I had a sudden spike in blood pressure, after having perfectly normal numbers up until that point. I was sent to the hospital for some monitoring and then sent home after about an hour with the feedback that is it was probably just my new normal BP at this later stage of pregnancy.

A few days later at another checkup, my BP was still high so they ordered a 24 hour urine test.

I finally got officially diagnosed with "mild" preeclampsia at 31 weeks.

"The protein in your urine was really quite high." Was what I was told quite nonchalantly. But for some reason they still only refered to the preeclampsia as mild. My only restriction was to stop going to work.

At a check-up after my diagnosis, they checked my BP, it was really high so they waited a few moments and checked it again. It had gone down slightly, so they charted that number and ignored the higher one. Knowing that I had preeclampsia, they for some reason didn't think this was enough reason to send me to the hospital. And we trusted this.

At this appointment I asked if there was anything I can be doing to help my blood pressure stay down.

"No not really."

We asked about BP medicine

"We really only give that to the severe cases."

My husband asked if we should be worried about seizures.

"They're really rare."

Our entire experience, preeclampsia was treated as though it wasn't that serious. As if, sometimes it just happens, and we just have to get as close to full term as possible and then induce. Our worries were brushed aside. Every possible bad outcome was not discussed. Because the professionals were acting as if there was nothing to worry about, I kept telling myself that I must just be overreacting and worrying myself unnecessarily. These thoughts would lead me to push down and ignore my gut feelings until it was too late.

Not even a week after my diagnosis of mild preeclampsia, I was on the floor seizing, unconscious, and not breathing minutes after arriving at the hospital for a severe headache.

The bad headache symptom was explained to us. I mentioned that I get migraines sometimes and how would I know the difference. The advice I was given was to take some Tylenol, try to relax, and if it doesn't go away then call. And I trusted this advice.

If I had instead been told to call immediately if I was experiencing a severe headache, I would've been there hours rather than minutes before having a  seizure. And I truly believe that could've made all the difference.

The first thing I was told after regaining consciousness was that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. And my whole world came crashing down.

This disease is unpredictable. Doctors don't know what causes it. They have no idea how it will behave from person to person. The only known cure is to deliver the placenta, and even that isn't guaranteed to bring you back to "normal". This disease needs more attention, so that no other parents have to go through what we did.

We are doing this walk in honor of our son, Xander Lee. Born sleeping on May 19, 2019.

We love you past the moon and miss you beyond the stars, baby boy.