Help Save Animals and Win the Coziest Date with Posey

Posey, 9 | 14 lbs | Black & Tan | Seeking Long or Short-Term Cuddle Arrangements

Meet Posey:

Breed: 48% Chihuahua, 11% Staffy (what?!), 6% Min Pin, 35% Random Everything Else (including all the terriers, bulldog, poodle, and chow chow..?).

Occupations: Professional Blanket Inspector; Couch Potato; Expert-Level Napper; Bed Hog; Absolute Tripping Hazard.

Relationship Status: Emotionally unavailable for approximately the first 20 minutes of meeting you, but when you win me over, I'm obsessed and will never leave your side.

Incisors remaining: 1 (just a cute little tooth hanging out in front by itself - what kind of senior Chi would I be if I came with a complete set of teeth?)

About me:

Hi, I'm Posey, and they don't call me Cozy Posey for nothing. As an Animal Friends Alliance alumni, I was treated like a queen at the shelter and then took over my foster home (because they obviously weren't going to let me go after pampering me through a myriad of health problems for over a month). I'm medically complicated and emotionally complex, but I have a lot of love to give. I'm basically a cat who accidentally ended up in an awkward tiny dog body and am looking for additional couches and beds to completely take over, despite my tiny size. Always seeking the coziest comforts that the world has to offer.

Before you fall head over heels for me, there are a few things you should know. Most importantly, if we meet, you must ignore me in classic "hard to get" fashion. No eye contact. No baby voice. No "Who's a good girl?" Just act like I'm a decorative throw pillow. If the vibes are right, I'll eventually decide you're worth cuddling and stomp my way into your lap for awkward cuddles. Afterall, like I said already, I am really just a cat masquerading as a dog...

Why I'm Here...

I'm looking for someone to sponsor my dream date and raise funds for Animal Friends Alliance's annual Saving Pets Challenge. Your donation helps support animals in need at Animal Friends Alliance while simultaneously ensuring I can experience the luxurious evening I so clearly deserve.

Picture it - the perfect date!

• A gourmet dinner of Hill's Prescription Diet Liver Care (I'm an expensive date) served in my array of beloved snuffle mats and slow feeders (to force me to eat slowly so I don't accidentally throw up all over you or your carpet).
• Mood lighting so soft and dim that we can barely see each other from across the room, but you'll know I'm there when I glue to your ankle unexpectedly and trip you.
• A premium sound machine playing rain noises (the only acceptable form of precipitation).
• A collection of YouTube's finest ambience videos (ideally Halloween-themed with flickering fireplaces, pumpkins, and a cozy thunderstorm).
• A plush couch that takes up ideally 20 to 45 square feet of actual floor footprint, professionally engineered with no fewer than three plush blankets and a countless number of pillows for me to perch atop. Plush stairs are required to get me onto high couches or beds because I am too tiny - and don't you dare pick me up.

This setup should be provided as less of a date and more of a wellness retreat to ensure my premium comfort and coziness at all times.

Turn Ons

• Sharing a meal...well, rather you feeding me a meal, including anything on your plate (I'm a shameless begger and will help myself to anything I please if you aren't diligent).
• Championship-level cuddling. I might even sneak in an awkward lick on your nose if you're lucky.
• Heated blankets, or at least multiple blankets to share where I will steal your body heat.
• Pillows with excellent structural support - throw pillows are acceptable, but fluffy bed pillows are ideal.
• Cozy fireplace, aquarium, or rainy cabin ambience videos paired with mood lighting provided by at least half a dozen dimmed lamps.
• Respecting my boundaries until I decide we're best friends.
• Listening to me tell you all about my day in the form of dramatic sighs, whines, squeaks, and tiny cries. Life is hard - a girl has to vent, afterall.

Turn Offs

• Rodents. I currently share my home with two rat brothers and one hamster brother, and frankly, they have done irreparable damage to my dating standards. I have a firm "no vermin" policy for extracurricular affairs.
• Going outside. Summer? Too hot. Winter? Too cold. Rain? Absolutely not (even if you provide an umbrella, my precious paws will still get wet). Snow? Criminal (do I look like I was built for a blizzard??). Wind? Personally insulting and messes up my beautiful fur. For any weather below 50°F, I require a collection of sweaters - and I will throw a fit while you try to put one on me.
• Bright overhead lighting.
• Anyone who says, "It's beautiful outside!" Atrocious. Going outside is strictly for quick potties and barking at every dog I see. I should be quickly ushered inside via elevator to be pampered and worshiped. 

Fun Facts

Every so often I transform from Sophisticated Blanket Princess into Tiny Furry Tornado. I'll launch into full-speed zoomies around the living room while screaming at a stuffed toy as though I've been training for this moment my entire life.

When I'm not zooming, I'm narrating my life. Hungry? I'll whine. Tired? I'll whine. Need you to fluff a blanket? Believe it or not... whine. Sometimes I cry simply because my emotional support pillow isn't positioned quite right. Think of me as an excellent communicator with a flair for melodrama.

Then, once I've expressed my concerns to management, I'll curl up for a nap.

Full Disclosure

I come with a little extra character development. My résumé includes occasional seizures and a stomach that sometimes believes dinner should be experienced twice. Life with me is unpredictable, but I maintain a remarkable sense of humor and an unwavering commitment to being adorable. While on a date, you should be willing to provide my seizure medication every 8 hours (7 am, 3 pm, and 11 pm on the dot, no exceptions). 

Sponsor My Dream Date

Your donation isn't actually paying for my luxury cuddle date...but I fully intend to behave as though it is.

So please donate generously. Those blankets aren't going to fluff themselves, the ambience video won't queue itself, and someone has to make sure the sound machine is set to "gentle ocean waves."

Most importantly, every dollar helps animals like me find the love, comfort, and happy endings we all deserve.

Whoever donates the most to my campaign will win an exclusive date with me (and if you live far away, I will send you a special package to enjoy a long-distance date with me) - all funded by my Human, of course.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go whine at someone because my snuffle mat is empty and my pillow isn't fluffed.

Rave Reviews From Satisfied Past Dates

I am a world-class, expert cuddler...but don't just take my word for it. Take a look at some reviews below from folks (including repeat dates) who have had the luxurious honor of my company and cuddles. People have traveled across the country to get the full Posey experience.

• Mia, 6 years old - traveled all the way from Wisconsin for Posey snuggles in Fort Collins, CO. 5 out of 5 stars. Her mom proudly boasts a satisfying date and snuggle session.
  • "Posey was seriously the highlight of the trip for Mia...she wants to be back on the couch snuggling."
• Sarah, adult and proud auntie of Posey - routinely seeks Posey cuddles on a weekly basis to maintain her mental health and sense of calm. 5 out of 5 stars.
  • "I can personally attest to the cozy magnetism of this divine creature. She may play "hard to get", but she truly is an affectionate dog in her own special way. You must earn her trust, but the rewards are far worth the effort when this little lady opens up to you. Life would be boring without a flare of awkwardness, anyways (or without tiny, shiny eyes imploring you for bites of food from your plate that we all know her tender tummy can't digest...) If you are suffering weariness of body, spirit, or mind, look no further than Posey cuddles. A brief cuddle date with this warm little bean will immediately soothe your soul and allow you to drift into the ultimate state of peaceful relaxation. In fact, good luck staying awake in the presence of this one, as her siren song to the seas of slumber is impossible to resist."
• Sarah, adult - battled horrible traffic on I-25 from Colorado Springs to Fort Collins with the primary goal of experiencing Posey cuddles for herself. 5 out of 5 stars.
  • "You must complete these trials three if you want to meet sweet Posey. First, an exercise in being mindful and respectful of her tiny, fairy-like stature. You must complete the challenge of ‘I spy’ by locating wee little Posey amongst her numerous pillows and blankies on her couch. When you spot her, the realization of just how tiny she is will both surprise and delight you. Second, a trial of patience and learning to ‘just be.’ Sit quietly on the couch and wait for Posey to come to you. Trust me, it’s worth the wait. This time also gives you opportunity to take in your surroundings, where the ambience provides deep relaxation and grounding. Mood lighting, plants, a bubbling aquarium and the sounds of soft ocean waves sooth all of your senses, calming your mind, body and spirit. Before you know it, you will be graced with the presence of the sweetest little bean you’ve ever had the chance to meet. Thirdly, the trial of opening your heart to receive love from the teeniest dog with the biggest heart. She will sing you the song of her people, thus granting you access to her deep wisdoms and gentle truths. I’m so grateful to be able to donate so that sweet little babies like Posey have a chance at a beautiful life. You deserve it, Posey!"