It was the Friday before Memorial Day in 2016. I was 35 weeks pregnant, tired, achy and pushing through my final two weeks of work but excited to be giving birth to my first child soon. Sure I'd had some complications but since my doctor assurred me everything was fine during every visit, I didn't worry when I hadn't noticed the baby moving that entire day. I told my husband we should just go get checked at L&D just to be sure. That's why when several nurses, a resident and finally a doctor couldn't find a heartbeat and confirmed my baby was indeed deceased, it felt like someone dropped a boulder on my heart. Was someone was playing a cruel sick joke on me? How could I go to every office visit, do everything my doctor told me, read research, eat healthy, attend parenting classes and even work at the world renown institution I was having care, Cedars-Sinai, and still end up being in the 1% of parents who experience stillbirth? It just didn't make sense. I was so angry, confused, hurt and shocked. Before I could even process it, I was told I would need to have my labor induced so I could deliver my son and the nurses and staff went into delivery mood, checking me into my room, giving me poticin and an epidural. I could barely look at my OB/GYN in the face when she finally showed up the next day. This was the person who told me that the back pain and cramping I was experiencing at 27 weeks was due to me having a big baby causing normal discomfort. Although I begged for an ultrasound she told me it wasn't necessary to have more than one at 36 weeks in the third trimester. When the pain worsened at 31 weeks and became so severe I rushed myself to L&D for monitoring, I still wasn't given an ultrasound and was told I was experiencing a urinary tract infection causing the pain so they gave me lots of water, Tylenol and meds for the UTI and sent me home that same day. I later learned that my placenta stopped working somewhere around 27 or 28 weeks and ultimately my baby died from a growth restriction because he wasn't getting the nutrients he needed. It's beyond belief he lasted in my womb as long as he did. Another OB/GYN I met explained that the pain I was feeling was likely from my placenta trying to eject itself. Had I been referred to a high risk doctor and given NST tests and ultrasounds during my third trimester, likely they would have caught that there were problems and possibly saved his life by delivering him early. 

Rather than asking "why me" and complaining, I'd rather use my pain and lessons learned to be a part of the solution by helping someone avoid experiencing what I did. Please help me by making a donation. The Star Legacy Foundation's work includes numerous projects & programs covering stillbirth awareness, research, education, advocacy and family support.  These programs are only possible through the generous support and donations from friends, family and the community at large.  The list below is only a sample of ways that your support and donations helps us accomplish our mission & vision.  Learn more about stillbirth here.

Remember, you know your body better than anyone. Always trust your gut. 

$25 -- Provides a teddy bear for a family so they don't go home with 'empty arms'.  These bears can be embroidered with the baby's name and weighted to baby's weight or can be configured to hold a cremation urn.

$50 Provides a one month supply of stillbirth prevention patient education materials to a clinic or hospital.

$100 -- Supports one bereaved family through their loss through the provision of materials, comfort package and peer support.

$200 -- Covers the cost of an evening of support group services including facilitator stipend, room rental and materials.

$250 -- Enrolls one pregnancy into the perinatal research registry.

$500 -- Provides a cooling system to a labor & delivery unit for use with stillborn babies to give families the 'gift of time' with their baby.

$1000 -- Sponsors a researchers to present at the Stillbirth Summit