My family's first child, Anne, died of bone cancer at age 8.  

When I swim across Cayuga Lake on Aug. 10 in support of Hospicare, I’ll think of her, her five-year-old brother and my parents. They might have suffered less if hospice, which didn’t begin in the U.S. until 25 years later, had been available. 

What started as a sore leg was quickly identified as a tumor. Doctors at Memorial Hospital, now Memorial Sloan Kettering, had no treatment except amputation. They cautioned that the disease might have already spread. My parents declined surgery and brought Anne home, where she died in pain three months later.

Decades later, I discovered my father’s diary. Tersely, he had recorded the trauma that unfolded over four months. His words in a blue, leather-bound book the size of your hand are a reminder of why hospice is so important. 

April 13: “Anne has a sore leg.”

April 18: “Anne has a leg Xray.”

April 20: “Dr. Pfaff called me to his office at 11:15 … Anne has a bone tumor.”

April 21: “Go to N.Y.C, took Anne to hospital.”

April 23: “...saw Anne. She was dressed and had just had her biopsy, her leg was a little sore.”

April 30: “ … Anne’s in good spirits.”

May 24: “ … got telegram to come after Anne, drove to N.Y.C …”

May 29: “Call from N.Y. Anne to go back.”

June 1: “ … to Syracuse airport. Fog all way to N.Y., to hospital and a horrid experience. Anne had a chest Xray treatment.”

June 2: “My mind is troubled.”

June 4: “ … Laura (mom) and Anne to Central Park to play near Memorial Hospital. Anne’s spirits very good.” 

June 9: Got telegram from Laura, they will be home tomorrow.”

June 10: “Meet at airport, directly home. Got Chipsy.” (Chipsy, a honey-colored cocker spaniel pup, was a gift from Anne’s third-grade classmates.)

June 14: “Anne seems good, eats, sleeps and plays, gets tired. Hope puppy will not cry tonight.”

July 12: “Anne has pain in her lung and right shoulder.”

July 13: “Anne had a bad night.”

July 14: “Anne has chest pain.”

July 15: Quite a bit of pain.”

July 19: “Anne doesn’t eat, drinks a lot of water.”

July 21: ”She is having terrible breathing tonight.”

July 27: “Anne isn’t well, … cries a lot …”

Aug. 1: Anne is not doing well, her feet seem to be swelling.”

Aug. 10: “Anne had a bad day and is weaker.”

Aug. 11: “Anne has a headache – sleeping a lot – and weaker.”

Aug. 12: “Anne eats very little and wants only her mother.”

Aug. 19: “Anne is very weak and very unhappy.”

Aug. 21: “Anne is bad, very weak, can’t move legs, which are badly swollen, her right side below lung is bad.”

Aug. 22: “Anne is bad and very weak. Bought her a wristwatch after supper. She let me in her room a little while this evening.”

Aug. 24: “Anne is very restless and uncomfortable.”

Aug. 25: “Anne passed away at 1:15 a.m.”